Where are you headed?
Note: This message was shared on Palm Sunday in Nashville, TN. But it has felt like one long, crushing Good Friday following the recent tragic mass shooting. I got a text from a member of church that read: “It feels like we are in the wilderness with Jesus bewildered and depleted of energy…” Yep! It called to mind a series of devotional talks given in 1962 by the great Howard Thurman, regarded as the Chaplain of the Civil Rights Era. Called “At the Crossroad” Thurman portrays Jesus’ decision to go to Jerusalem for the last time as a crossroads dilemma. Should he go back home to a life of comfort? Or to Jerusalem where he will face the cross but also the crown of trusting God and following God’s divine will for his life. My“guest” is the words of Howard Thurman from his devotional talk as he asks the question: “Where are you headed?” It is a good question for us to ask of ourselves - and our community and nation - especially in light of these tragic and avoidable events. What is meant for us to decide if we will trust God and follow Jesus who parades into Jerusalem on a donkey? These are my preaching notes that I referred to. - John Hilley
Tags: Nashville Mass Shooting; Matthew 21-1-11; Howard Thurman’s “At the Crossroad”
Introduction
What a week this has been. What a crushing week this has been!
Even as of last night, I wasn’t sure what to say this morning. I feel like I have no words. Words, if they come, feel strained between lament and celebration. In a sense, too many words have been said…as it feels like we are trying to make sense of this tragic week in Nashville. That may describe how you feel now on our sixth day after the tragic mass shooting at Covenant Presbyterian Church and School.
Even as early as last Monday morning standing on the chancel steps at Woodmont Baptist Church, looking out at the sea of anguished parents as parents were queuing to give officials the names of their children who attended Covenant I felt there were no words to say today. Fighting back tears, I think I said as much to Clay Stauffer, pastor of Woodmont Christian who was trying to help parents with directions and offering short prayers during the long wait. We were all struggling with what could be said. But he did find words, as the first funeral - the funeral of 9 year old Evelyn Dieckhaus took place Friday at Woodmont Christian Church. It was the same day where she was supposed to sing Louis Armstrong’s "What a Wonderful World" in a play about jazz at her school.
Clay found words, saying "Evelyn could have been anything,” but she chose to be a beacon of light and hope, love and joy to those around her.” He found words to thank police and first responders, saying, “All of you are amazing. Thank you for everything that you do for our city.” The recognition was met with loud and sustained applause because they were amazing at Covenant and at Woodmont.
I have been trading texts with many from some of you in the room to friends across the country and the world. Late last night I recalled a text exchange I had with a church member – it must have been Tuesday - about what could be said about this week. In that text thread she had written:
“it feels we are in the wilderness with Jesus bewildered and depleted of energy as Satan (The tempter) tempts us to look to his solutions for a sense of direction and safety and security. Look toward… look toward ourselves as the “right kind” vs “those others”...look toward fast violence instead of slow compromise and conversation. Look toward clinging to hate and revenge and fear. Perhaps we are being tested now as strongly as the Silent Generation was - we’re ill prepared after our decades of peace and prosperity and self indulgence…”
It is Sunday and we are celebrating Jesus processing into Jerusalem, but the church member had Jesus – and us - back in the wilderness. And this morning when I got up early not sure what I was going to say, I thought yes, Amethyst we are in the wilderness.
What she wrote brought to mind a series of devotional talks the late Howard Thurman did. Thurman was Dea of the Chapel at Howard University and kind of considered the chaplain to The Rev. Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr.
The reflections he wrote in 1962 were called “At the Crossroad.” In these reflections Thurman portrays Jesus’ decision to go to Jerusalem for the last time as a crossroads dilemma. In this instance, Jesus must decide whether to go to Jerusalem, where he would be rejected and killed, or, to continue his ministry elsewhere and live. Thurman brings in other stories during his ministry of healing like that of the Gerasene demoniac. He describes Jesus encountering the tempter. And out in the wilderness is this kind of clear crossroad with two paths going in opposite directions.
Thurman explains the crossroad faced by Jesus as a dilemma because this moment reflects the "agony" of any dilemma in that one must choose either between competing goods or competing evils. Jesus knew going to Jerusalem would mean meeting his fate. If he did not go, it would mean quieting the revelation of God within him. In the choice Jesus makes to go to Jerusalem, Thurman recognizes the crowning example of faith to trust God and follow divine will.
As I am at a loss of words, here are Thurman’s written back in 1962:
The agony of life is not the choice between good and evil. The agony of life is the choice between two evils or two goods… The tempter met Jesus in our reflection this morning at the crossroad, just outside the town of Jericho. The master and his little knot of disciples were walking out of the city. And as they came to a fork in the road, one going north towards Jerusalem, the other going south towards Nazareth and Galilee, a strange thing happened. And it is the only place in all the records where there is a statement concerning this strange thing. You remember? As they approached the crossroads, Jesus apparently bolted ahead of the group.
And it is recorded that when the disciples look into his face, they were frightened. What did they see there? What kind of inner-wrestling was so churning and tumultuous in its character and its depth and intensity that it spilled over into his countenance with such dramatic import that when those who had been with him all the time looked in his face, they were frightened, frightened at what they saw.
Shall I go to Jerusalem, or shall I go back home? And the tempter talked with him, or to have argued with him. It would be a wonderful thing to go back and to pick up the threads of the dynamic ministry of healing and teaching. What a wonderful prospect. With all the cumulative power of my experience of God (and this is Jesus Thurman is picturing as talking): what a wonderful thing. [I could] go back and establish myself as the great, and good, and holy teacher, healing the sick.
… How wonderful if I could spend all the years of my life, multiplying redemption, just multiplying it. And a lot of comfort I would be to my mother. I would live, and teach, and heal, and die in my own bed.”
Then Thurman has Jesus wondering to himself almost like the prophet Jonah (Matthew 12): “But if I go to Jerusalem, where I would be on the receiving end of the cumulative rejection, and emotional, and official insecurity of those whose foundations were disturbed by the revelation of the god in me, who knows what they might do to me?...
1-2-3
Thursday - A Vigil at the Crossroads
Thursday morning, we held a vigil at the crossroads of Wilson Pike and Concord: to express the tragic loss of life; the pain of parents and of our community. Like we did in Uvalde we put chairs out to honor their lives. Because this came so close to home - the connective tissue.
Here’s the thing: I made the decision that instead of six chairs with the names of those who were killed, I said that we needed to add a seventh chair. As there were seven lives lost. Unlike the Uvalde memorial, I decided to acknowledge the perpetrator of this tragic, violent act not to make a point. Not to shame. But to acknowledge her, especially in this town and the connective tissue of our city. The seventh chair represented a child of God who had been baptized at a Presbyterian church nearby. I had acknowledged her name. Because she had parents who I am sure loved her - parents who had been married at a Presbyterian Church up the road when their life was so full of promise and opportunity. Of this individual about who I have fielded many angry calls about how I could glorify her, her former headmaster at Covenant said:
“I’ve looked back in my annuals and I do remember her as a former student,” the former headmaster said. “She was just one of our young ladies. ... She was just a typical co-ed. A typical student.” He could not recall any issues Hale might have had at the time that could have raised red flags.
But obviously in the years since, there was a change…
There is a part in Howard Thurman’s sermon where Jesus is in the wilderness and he and the disciples are walking along. Thurman puts himself in the place of Jesus:
“I remember the time that I was walking along. And I heard before I saw him, the loud shrieks of the maniac. And as I made the turn in the road, I saw him standing there disheveled, his eyes like gutted candlelight, The bursted chains dangling from his hands, and his arms, and his legs. That day was terrible: the mind in a tilted place.
And something deep within me spoke to him. What is your name? And for a moment, as a precursor of that which was taking place at some other region in this period, his mind balanced just for a second. And he said, that is my trouble. I don't know who I am. There are so many of me. And they riot in my streets. If I knew who I am, I would be whole again.”
The maniac in the bible was called Legion if you remember, for we are many. And indeed, the mental health of our young adults; in fact so many of us are frayed and yearning to be whole.
Thankfully, Jesus took the path to Jerusalem and did not turn to go back home.
Thankfully Jesus rode on the donkey through Jerusalem to the shouts of hosanna for all of our failings and for all who fail and for all of us who lose sight of who we are as children of God.
Thankfully Jesus rode on the donkey through the streets with the whole of Jerusalem in turmoil and to the shouts of Hosanna meaning “save us” and and then to the cross and then to the tomb and thankfully that Tomb is now empty and it holds the promise that the Resurrection is for ALL of us - even those of us who have done terrible things - and we leave it to God of judgment and mercy to sort it out to sort it out.
My understanding was that when Jesus said the words from the cross on Good Friday “it is finished” his sacrificial act of love extended to all .
That doesn’t mean I am not angry. I am so upset at what this person did and the ripple effect it had across this city that we love and the families that love. But thankfully, my anger, and your anger, does not have the last word.
This is the day Jesus shows us that he comes to us, to our city, to our families, to our lives, to our hearts - comes to proclaim his Kingdom and bids us to follow, to be his grateful and courageous followers. However we understand the mysterious sacrifice of the cross, one thing is certain, it is proof of God’s love. What Gary Wills wonderfully calls “God’s rescue raid into history.” And today we remember that he comes to us in our personal lives, to our very hearts, just as he came to the city.
Where are you headed?
So today, the question is: Where are you headed? Where are we headed?
“Ultimately, a person's responsibility is to God, said Thurman. “The god a man worships is the god he must face. That when he stands before him, What will he say? He comes to us as one unknown without a name as he came to the man by the lakeside who knew him not. He speaks to us. He commands. Follow me. And to those who obey him, he will reveal himself in the toils and the suffering and the joy through which they shall pass in his fellowship. And as an ineffable mystery, they shall learn in their own experience who he is.”
There were two parades that day going on in Jerusalem. Those parades exist today and I fear we will see it ramp up even more this Holy Week as too many are choosing the narrative of Jesus as a wartime victor and choosing a Gospel militarized against anyone who would stray from a litmus test of beliefs—beliefs that Jesus never actually addressed and beliefs certainly not included in the commandments, that Jesus did speak to us, to love God with all your heart and mind and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself.
It is the time for bravery and it is time to ask ourselves which direction are we headed toward? So many words have been shared this week of grief, of anger, and of our need to change and not to continue business as usual when it comes to not protecting our children. There was a post by Michelle Sudduth who brought such clarity as she wrote:
“When a belief system a person has long defended is crumbling in the face of fresh evidence of another reality, the person has the option to either dig their heels in and recommit more staunchly to their old philosophy or reassess whether or not the belief has shown itself to be incomplete and begin asking what a better belief may be.
Bravery is accepting full reality, faith is trusting that no reality need be ignored for a belief to be true, humility is asking “what is better?” rather than forcing old explanations to stay intact.”
Jesus is walking in the direction and invites us to head toward the promised day. To head toward crowded tables. Jesus is moving in the direction of joyful children and hopeful communities. He invites us to move closer to God and that does not happen by accident.
The words Thurman shared back in 1962 seem fresh for us today. “[Each of us asks]: Shall I go home? Shall I go to Jerusalem with the Messiah? When you have been at a crossroad of that quality, or that character, or that kind… when you have stood at such a crossroad in your limited way or my limited way, how did you vote? What did you do? Thus thou tire, oh, Father, of hearing from our stumbling lips, the same monotonous cry of inadequacy, of limitation, of sin? Oh, God, let us not weary Thee. But out of all the long journey over which Thou has come with Thy children, speak to our condition.”
Oh Jesus, give us the strength and the bravery to head in your direction and with you in this Holy Week. And to reflect the beacon of Christ’s resurrected love in this world. Amen.